Fireproof!

My local church in Singapore had this movie shown on widescreen two weeks ago. And my friend told me that this was indeed a good movie and she encouraged me to try & watch it as well via online streaming.

Well, I must say it's a very inspiring movie. Although the theme suggest that it is for couple, as the story was about saving a failing marriage, actually anybody can learn from (or can even relate to) this film because it also touches on "relationships." Relationship with your co-workers, relationship with your parents, relationship with your partner, and most importantly relationship with our loving Savior.

It's just a short film but it delivers a vast impact to its viewers

"Fireproof doesn't mean that a fire will never come, but that when it comes, you'll be able to withstand it," expressed by one of the character in the movie.

Whenever we experience trouble, we naturally seek to know what's wrong and tries to give our best to solve our problem. And sometimes, we yield towards a solution that we see fit -- a solution often driven by hasty decision -- just to escape from that unwelcome situation.

On some occasions, when somebody gives a Godly counsel, people who are not zealous about their faith may think that it's too religious for 'em. I've been in this situation before (way back 1997 BC), where I find comfort mostly only to the words I wanted to hear.


Anyway, this film have presented 4 important ingredients in a relationship; these are Communication, Understanding, Respect, and Engage . I'm not an expert on this, and to be honest, everyday is a new learning. So just allow me to touch a bit and share my views on these essential ingredients.

Communication
I used to tell former gf that whenever we ran into misunderstanding, we should talk about it to prevent from having an unhealthy argument. Communication is synonymous to talking. But talking isn't synonymous to arguing, so when two persons argue they are not communicating at all. (But this isn't the reason why we parted ways. Let's just say.. perhaps God has better plans for both of us. In fact, we still do communicate, and we're thankful for that. We both believe in the importance of communication).

Understanding
Occasionally disagreements pay us a visit, somethin' like Mr.Understanding meets Ms.Understanding (hehe, just kidding). If we can communicate but doesn't know how to listen, then we might just be talking nonsense. We all know that the key to understanding is listening. And once we understand, it helps to determine not just our needs but of others as well. It also gives us the ability to derive a sound judgement towards any predicament. I believe it doesn't hurt to give way if you really understand the situation. I also believe understanding is tied with patience.

Respect
"Respect must be earned" is a common philosophy. Wonderful, isn't it? Well, such philosophy can come with a price though. How? For example, there will be times that we'll encounter someone showing us no respect. And chewing much on the "respect-should-be-earned" thingy "might" prompt us to respond also in a disrespectful manner. Sabi nga ng iba, "Hinde mo ko nirerespeto, hinde rin kita rerespetuhin!"

On the other hand, "giving respect to get respected" is much more pleasing to our ears, even in essence it also means the same as the initial phrase I quoted, haha. However, when person A shows lack of respect towards person B, it doesn't always follow that person B is not giving enough respect to person A. I can say, respect is pretty much attached to our character. Show lack of respect -- you're forfeiting yours. Give respect -- you'll get yours. I remember back in 1999 when my pastor taught me about how to approach skeptics who might try to argue their beliefs and/or reasoning, he said.. "never argue, just humble yourself by respecting them and praying for them." This applies to relationship as well. Because in so doing, we shun from dispute and it somehow advocates good relationship.

Engage
For me, engage is such a positive word. You cannot just join any competition and expect you'd win.. you have to involve yourself from the beginning to get the pertinent details you need to succeed. If you want to get healthy, one way is to "engage" yourself into sports and a balanced diet.

In another context, engaging is like leading. What makes a successful leader? Of course when his people willingly follows him. Otherwise, it's just nothing more than a title. A good leader is usually characterized by his ability to involve and influence others. And oftentimes, if we are being led by a good leader, there's something in us that wants to imitate their qualities. I believe utilizing these good characteristics can also lead a good relationship. Involving ourselves more to our partner, and influencing can result to us gettin' the same response from her/him.

In this film, they mentioned something like studying your partner. The idea is like getting into a lifelong journey that draws your heart ever closer to your partner. Like if the amount when a man tries to win the heart of a woman is equal to a high school degree, then he should continue to learn about her 'til he earns a college degree, a master's degree, and ultimately, a doctorate degree. I think what they're trying to convey here is that engaging yourself to your partner doesn't just happen before that "M" thing, we are encouraged to continue being in that "engaged moment" even after marriage. In scripture, God engaged himself into us when He sent his beloved Son.

So I guess this is what I learned, rather how I relate to this film. Communication, Understanding, Respect, and Engaging (or CURE for short, hehe) the 4 important ingredients in establishing a fireproof relationship.

Good relationship matters to everyone, especially to God. We recognize that God listens and knows the desires of our heart, yet He still encourage us to ask. That's simply because He wants to establish a good lifelong relationship with us. He longs to communicate to us. And through that, He grants us understanding. When we're inclined to do things our own, He respect that. He always patiently wait even if we're not sometimes.

If you haven't seen this movie, I encourage you to watch it also. Thanks for reading and God bless you all.

(this video clip was embedded from youtube courtesy of youtuber michae4907)